ARGHH!!!

I have no other title that I feel I can say.

Yesterday I was working. The girl at the register next to me was one of those people that just drives me nuts and rubs me the wrong way. Anyway...

I was on break. The store always has music playing and it's usually upbeat stuff that most everyone knows. I don't even remember the song but I walked back at the end of it. Stephanie says, "Peggy may know." I asked, know what. She said "what was that show in the 80's that had the MONGOLOID kid in it? What the HELL???!!!

Yes, that is a term that was used a long time ago. She is about 24 and I have no idea where she would get that name from. Anyway, while my mind was going WTF? My mouth said, the show with the boy with Down syndrome, was Life Goes On. I was not in a mood to educate right then (or for that matter in the place to educate). I did tell her we had seen Chris Burke and his band at a couple of Buddy Walks. She said, you met Corky? I said, no, not met him but yes, we had seen his band.

She said, maybe I am ignorant (HELLO... Ya think?) but how can he play in a band?

My response was "what?"

"How can he play in a band?"

I said why wouldn't he play in a band and before allowing her to say something else, I started my limited education lesson. I told her people with Down syndrome can do all sorts of things. They go to college, have jobs, get married, live independently, etc. I explained that I fully expect C to go to college and have a job one day. She then asked what causes it and I gave the chromosome education. She then asked (gotta smack the girl for continuing to ask questions), "then how come they all look alike?" Wanting to just cold cock her, I said, they don't and her response was, "the ones I have seen do." Of course, I could have focused on the "ones" part of that statement. Like, my daughter and others with Down syndrome are objects. Instead I just got an irritated tone (surprised it took me this long) and said "well, I think I have seen a lot more kids and people with Down syndrome. I asked if she thinks that the caucasian kids with Down syndrome look like the Asian kids, the African American kids, etc. I explained that C looks like her dads family and not like the other kids in her class with Down syndrome. I said that yes, they do have some features that the syndrome tends to make more prominent, but no, not all people with Down syndrome look alike. (I am half tempted to take her an album of all of the kids we have met and what they all look like!)

I am sure this conversation could have gone on until I just had no choice but to either poke out my ear drums with a hot poker or to beat the crap out of her until she was senseless but apparently, somebody already beat her senseless!!!

Anyway, that is my rant for the day. The whole thing didn't as much upset me as it made me wonder, who here has the challenges? My child or people like her who are perceived as "normal"?

Safety first

The next two posts are something that came to me from a post on one of my message boards. I don't think any words I could say would even close to what these two videos can.

I am not plugging one seat, there are others out there now that can hold larger kids. I am plugging that you should 5 point harness your kids as long as possible in whatever seat you can! The other is to keep your child rear facing as long as possible. Yes, you can turn them at 1 year and 20 pounds in Michigan, but child seats will allow rear facing longer then that. (your carseat manual will tell you the maximum for rear facing) The safest position is rear facing so get/leave those kiddies rear facing as long as you can! C was rear facing until she was just over 3. She never minded it but even if she had, it wasn't up for negotiation. Rear facing is safest. I can't protect my kids from everything, but every place I can assure their safety, you bet I will. I would rather have an unhappy child in the car then an empty carseat anyday.

Safety first. Use your seats and protect your children to the maximum!

Importance of a 5-Point Harness Carseat

The Importance of Rear-Facing

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, I have another reason to celebrate this Mother's Day. I was lucky enough to be blessed with another beautiful daughter.

Mother's Day is still always a bittersweet day for me. It is a day I remember the 6 Mother's Days that I was so sad, wanting to be a mother to a child here on earth. I had angel babies, but no living children. I did consider myself a mother, but to everyone else, I wasn't. I look into the eyes of my 2 girls, but also look into the sky and wonder about the 8 others who just didn't make it to us. Would they have been boys or girls, would they have my eyes, dh's chin, etc.

I view our lost babies as bodies that couldn't make it to earth. I always felt they were the same soul, but that soul just needed to find the right body. At the same time, I still see each as a little being and a little being to be mourned.

While I am so happy for myself, I am sad for all of the women out there who are longing for a child in their arms. The ones who haven't met that special person who they want to have a child with. The ones who have been trying and it just isn't happening. The ones who are on an adoption waiting list. The ones who had the joy of a positive pregnancy test only to find out the baby couldn't survive. To ones who lost a child after birth. For all of these mothers, I still shed tears on Mother's Day. I now know the joy and I wish every woman with the desire to have a child, could have it. I am so sad that they miss out on what I am so blessed to experience.

So, to all mothers, those with living children, those with angels and all of those with the dream of a child in their hearts, I wish you peace on this day and hope that you know, you are a mother.

Happy Birthday to me!

Well, in only 6 minutes, it will be my 43rd birthday. What a year it has been. This time last year I was pregnant but didn't even know it yet. I found out on May 4th! It was a roller coaster pregnancy with spotting, gestational diabetes, low amniotic fluid and another early arrival but it all worked out so great

What am I doing for my birthday you ask? Well, I am getting all of my carpet and my couch cleaned. Yep, that's my birthday present to me and I can't wait!!! Used to be I wanted a massage, a pedicure, etc. Now, I want my carpet cleaned. Of course, I will also be getting a new camera lens, a tag for my medical alert bracelet, etc.

So, Happy Birthday to me! Maybe by this time next year, there will be a third and final addition to the family. The idea has been brought up again by the husband so we'll see!!!

Here is a new pic of me and my favorite gifts of all!

"The Business of Being Born"

We rented this documentary tonight and I wanted to give my opinions and impressions. I will start by saying these are my views and they in no way are meant to insult the views of others. Like anything, your life plays a huge role on your impression of things.

C was an emergency c-section. She had low fluid the final 3 weeks of my pregnancy. She failed many non stress tests but would barely pass the bio-physical profiles. When the fluid finally went too low, we induced. She had a very consistent heart rate in the 160's through my pregnancy. They started the induction and at 2 cm, and only about 3 hours into it, her heart rate was dropping into the 90's. We, with the dr, chose to go the c-section route. With J, I chose to do a repeat c-section. As I always say, we are the "1 in" couple. Less the .5% of the population suffer through as many miscarriage as we did. (know anyone else who had 8?) Our odds of having a child with Down syndrome were 1 in 300 based on my bloodwork. Well, we were the 1. When you say there is a "1 in" chance of uterine rupture or for that matter, ANY other risk, I won't take it. I have excellent physicians (high risk) who I trust like no other. I wholly trusted them 100% with my most precious blessings.

It was over 11 hours before I was able to hold C but that was because she was in the NICU and after hearing about the Down syndrome diagnosis, we didn't want to go to the nursery right away. I had to have some time to wrap my brain around what we had been told. With J, dh held her after about 3 minutes and I was able to hold her as soon as I was stitched up. I held her into the recovery room, I looked over every part of her, told her I loved her, I did what a mother does.

All in all, I thought the documentary was well done, but one comment did make it hard for me to view any of it with 100% credibility. Towards the end, one dr. (I wish I made note of his name) explained that endorphins are released at birth. These endorphins are what make you love your child. He said that when women have a c-section, they don't have those endorphines and they can't care for their child as well. WHAT??? I am an excellent mother and I love my daughters to the end of the world. With that thinking, a woman who adopts would have NO instinct to love their child and seeing my friend who adopted, that is as far from the truth as possible. I really believe that a mother is not born, she is created and that creation comes in many forms.

I think it all boils down to the same problem that lies in many, many areas of medicine. People need to be educated and given their options. I learned this first with C Did you know that 90% of parents with a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome terminate the pregnancy. I don't judge those people. Their life is not mine. I instead judge the drs. who give out dated information and in many, many cases, make a parent feel there is no choice. The ideal would be to educate the parents to be, give them the options and let them make an educated choice based on meeting with parents, getting updated information etc. I saw this movie the same way. No way of birth is right and perfect for every women but the choices need to be out there. They need to know what is available, meet with women who have been though the various forms, etc.

Most of all, I think women need to stop judging other women. I refuse to let anyone make me feel like my c-sections were the easy way out. That I missed the experience. I wanted to be pregnant, I wanted to have a healthy baby. I got both of those and the few hours in-between, for me, were just a small part of my dream and I am happy with the road I took and I would do it all over again.