Thursday, February 7, 2008

How can I ever say Thank You enough?

Today was a teary day. They were mostly good tears in a round about way.

I'll start off saying that my husband and I have not decided yet if we are going to have a third baby. I am all for it but he is waffling because of money. Don't get me wrong, we are far from poor but he likes to invest towards retirement. Our retirement is very secure and I say pass on investing for a few years, I make a career change to stay home during the day (work some nights and weekend) and we have a third like we want to. Of course, even if we decide to have a 3rd, we have our miscarriage history and who know if we will even get pg and then if we will stay pg. That said...

I did a lot of laundry today including lots of maternity clothes to pack away. I loved being pregnant and I love my maternity clothes. I hate to pack them away thinking I may not use them again. It made me happy to be blessed enough to have been pregnant twice. To get to see and feel a baby growing in me. To have that baby all to myself for 9 months. It's an amazing blessing.

Today was my 6 week postpartum check. I go to a phenomenal perinatologists office. This was, potentially my last time being there. The appointment went well, but I found myself crying in the elevator afterward. I sent so much time there. I went once a week for a long time, then every other week for a couple of months and then 2 and then 3 times a week. I feel like I know them all so well. I will really miss seeing all of them if we don't have a third. They have always been so great. They have shared the joy of our pregnancies with C and J and they have shared our sorrow when we had more miscarriages. They were there when I called in a panic thinking something was wrong and their calm voices helped keep me sane through the most stressful yet, great parts of my life. They really are like my family and if we are done, I will miss them dearly.

They took such great care of me and if not for their close monitoring, who knows if the complications we had at the end of both pregnancies would have been found and what the other outcome could have been.

How do you part with and thank people who helped you to reach your dream of having a baby? Thank you Dr. M, Dr. G, Dr. R, J, P, R and the entire office staff, ultrasound staff and maternity staff!

Guess, I just need to keep having babies until they retire... I just can't leave them.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I partly know how you feel. I'm on the fence about having a third myself and it pains me to think that I may not feel the kicking and rolling ever again. I'm not ready to close that chapter in my life, but can I really handle a third?
You never have to say goodbye to them. They will always be a part of your, C, and J's lives. You can visit them and let them enjoy what their work has accomplished as well.