C was an emergency c-section. She had low fluid the final 3 weeks of my pregnancy. She failed many non stress tests but would barely pass the bio-physical profiles. When the fluid finally went too low, we induced. She had a very consistent heart rate in the 160's through my pregnancy. They started the induction and at 2 cm, and only about 3 hours into it, her heart rate was dropping into the 90's. We, with the dr, chose to go the c-section route. With J, I chose to do a repeat c-section. As I always say, we are the "1 in" couple. Less the .5% of the population suffer through as many miscarriage as we did. (know anyone else who had 8?) Our odds of having a child with Down syndrome were 1 in 300 based on my bloodwork. Well, we were the 1. When you say there is a "1 in" chance of uterine rupture or for that matter, ANY other risk, I won't take it. I have excellent physicians (high risk) who I trust like no other. I wholly trusted them 100% with my most precious blessings.
It was over 11 hours before I was able to hold C but that was because she was in the NICU and after hearing about the Down syndrome diagnosis, we didn't want to go to the nursery right away. I had to have some time to wrap my brain around what we had been told. With J, dh held her after about 3 minutes and I was able to hold her as soon as I was stitched up. I held her into the recovery room, I looked over every part of her, told her I loved her, I did what a mother does.
All in all, I thought the documentary was well done, but one comment did make it hard for me to view any of it with 100% credibility. Towards the end, one dr. (I wish I made note of his name) explained that endorphins are released at birth. These endorphins are what make you love your child. He said that when women have a c-section, they don't have those endorphines and they can't care for their child as well. WHAT??? I am an excellent mother and I love my daughters to the end of the world. With that thinking, a woman who adopts would have NO instinct to love their child and seeing my friend who adopted, that is as far from the truth as possible. I really believe that a mother is not born, she is created and that creation comes in many forms.
I think it all boils down to the same problem that lies in many, many areas of medicine. People need to be educated and given their options. I learned this first with C Did you know that 90% of parents with a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome terminate the pregnancy. I don't judge those people. Their life is not mine. I instead judge the drs. who give out dated information and in many, many cases, make a parent feel there is no choice. The ideal would be to educate the parents to be, give them the options and let them make an educated choice based on meeting with parents, getting updated information etc. I saw this movie the same way. No way of birth is right and perfect for every women but the choices need to be out there. They need to know what is available, meet with women who have been though the various forms, etc.
Most of all, I think women need to stop judging other women. I refuse to let anyone make me feel like my c-sections were the easy way out. That I missed the experience. I wanted to be pregnant, I wanted to have a healthy baby. I got both of those and the few hours in-between, for me, were just a small part of my dream and I am happy with the road I took and I would do it all over again.
1 comment:
Awesome post, thank you! And yes, I think you are a fantastic mother as well!
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